Friday, October 24, 2014

For the Common Good



I keep hearing it more and more often now, "for the common good." They say it on TV, on the radio, in books and magazines, everywhere that rich, powerful progressives own a controlling interest. It is usually the hero, or anti-hero, who says it. Sometimes it is the villain, but rarely so. Still, I keep hearing it.


All manner of evil is done "for the common good."

We disarmed an entire nation, everyone who wasn't in the army or the police, all the honest citizens. We disarmed them "for the common good." Then we began arresting people "for the common good." We arrested Jews and Catholics and blacks and gays and especially anyone who opposed us politically. No one could stop us. This is what we disarmed them for, so they could not stop "the common good." We tortured those we arrested. And then we killed them. We killed them, always, "for the common good."

We recruited the farmers to help us overthrow the proletariat.  We slaughtered them all, intellectuals, professors, business leaders and producers, all "for the common good."And then we slaughtered the farmers who helped us. We slaughtered them with bullets and starvation "for the common good." After that, we randomly grabbed men off the streets and took them to torture chambers, deep dark cells, and kangaroo courts where we found them guilty of crimes against the revolution. We did this, of course, "for the common good." We taught children to spy on their parents and parents to spy on their neighbors, encouraging everyone to turn against everyone, creating a culture of terror and death, of madness and monsters, where the poor were very, very poor and we were very, very rich, where the hungry stood in long lines simply to ask for a loaf of bread while we ate caviar and steak in our palaces. We enslaved the entire nation.
 
All of this we did "for the common good." It was for our good. We are the common good, we the great leaders, the politicians, the dictators, the executioners. We made ourselves the richest, most powerful men on earth at the expense of hundreds of millions, even billions, of other human beings, many of whom we slaughtered purely for pleasure, to satisfy our lust for blood. Forbes rarely includes us in their lists of the World's Richest or the Most Influential. They simply don't know exactly how much money we have so they don't know where on their lists we land. But they know who we are. And what we've done. Why don't you? Perhaps if you did you would never again allow others like us to rise up, disarm you, divide you, betray you, and do all those terrible things that we love so much to do "for the common good."

Saturday, October 18, 2014

October Mowing


So yes, it's been awhile since I last blogged. And yes, I've been very busy. And yes, I'm still pretty damned busy. The only reason I'm able to blog now is because Microsoft is uploading a stupid patch to my software and its taking all day and I can't leave the application open while it patches it, so I can't get any work done until it finishes. There, doesn't that make you feel special?

So anyway .... this is like my signature phrase, isn't it? "So anyway" - The Kept Woman said that to me once and I didn't know what to make of it, but ever since I've noticed that I say that a lot. Or rather, I write it a lot.


So anyway, today was supposed to be dedicated to studying and working all day long. But then my neighbor started mowing his stupid lawn. And I looked out my window and saw that my grass was still green and still growing. This inspired me to mow my own grass. It was looking pretty shaggy in the back, sort of like an '80s mullet, but with weeds. After mowing I stumbled across something in the shed while putting away the lawn mower that inspired me to go into the garage. Once inside the garage I stumbled across something, or rather I literally stumbled over several bottles of motor oil. And this reminded me that I have at least one vehicle in dire need of an oil change.


I began looking through my millions of quarts of various weights of oil to determine if I had enough quarts of the specific weight of oil that my vehicle requires. I found that I did. In fact, I have a lot more than I need. And then I thought about one of my other vehicles, the 4x4 truck that I never drive. I realized that it needs an oil change, too. But it needs a heavier weight oil and I wasn't sure if I had any at all. Turns out I did. I had just enough and no more. And I even had a filter. So off I went to change the oil in not one, but two of my fabulous vehicles at the same time.

See how neatly this is going?
Yes, it was nothing like this.
Things did not go well. Oh, I got the oil changed. But there is an ocean of used motor oil mixed with an entire gallon of antifreeze in my driveway. Almost all of it is the fault of that damn 4x4, too. I won't go into detail, but it got oil everywhere. And then a gallon jug of antifreeze dropped and cracked open in the driveway and started pouring out, mixing with the oil that was everywhere. When it was over I was throwing kitty litter and looking everywhere for the EPA Gestapo to come flying down my street in their armored vehicles and SWAT uniforms to shoot me and all my neighbors for "environmental crimes" or some shit.  They never showed and I got my driveway pretty well cleaned up. But by the time I got all my tools put away and everything cleaned up, including me, it was 7 pm.


So I sat myself down to study, which I was supposed to be doing all day long, and then the computer says, "you need to upload and install patch number 4. Please close the application while the patch installs." And so here I am, blogging instead of studying.


You're probably thinking, "Memphis Steve, how long does it take for a patch to download and install? Couldn't you have been studying by now instead of blogging?"

Well, I'll have you know that I just checked and the answer is "NO." The patch is STILL downloading and installing. Apparently it is a big mother fucker. And knowing Microsoft, after it is installed, my hard drive will crash and I'll get the infamous Blue Screen Of Death. That's what happened to my last laptop - I had just installed some Microsoft software and immediately afterwards the whole thing crashed so badly that my data couldn't even be recovered from the dead hard drive. That's Microsoft for you.

I guess while the patch continues to download I'll surf the net a little ...

Now I'll never get back to studying


Tuesday, September 30, 2014

World News and Updates

Hater of white people, capitalism and Christian America resigns

Eric Holder - professional bank robber, racist, and alleged homosexual - resigned his position as US Attorney General. Some are speculating that he did it to avoid prosecution for all the serious crimes he has either committed and/or helped to cover up. Others are speculating that he's taking advantage of his position and connections while he still can to get out on the open market and blackmail either a corporation or ivy league university into giving him a purely decorative position with fancy title and excessively high salary, much like everyone associated with the Clinton White House received. Personally I think he's planning to go to Syria where Barack Obama is going to arrange the murder of the current leader of Syria in order to place Eric in charge so he can finally play King Eric for realz.


No More

A 'true feminist' shot and killed her NFL quarterback boyfriend at the apartment they shared together. In response, the NFL has talked endlessly about domestic violence and the epidemic of psychotic predatory women who take advantage of lonely NFL players in order to rob them blind. They have contracted numerous celebrities and professional athletes to do advertisements in which they say "No more" and then go on to discuss the fact that they aren't willing to tolerate NFL players be abused anymore. This move was considered shocking mostly because the biggest abusers of NFL players have always been NFL owners, ie the NFL itself. But this time the NFL says they have had enough and are finally going to stand up and take care of their players for the first time ever. Also, in response to several former and current NFL players being diagnosed with testicular cancer, the NFL has designated October to be "testicular cancer month" and are instructing players, coaches, referees and cheerleaders to wear blue in order to help raise awareness of testicular cancer. Yep, this is totally happening. Not being sarcastic at all. No sarcasm here. Not even a smidgen. Mmm hmm.


I'm a crazy cunt. Let's fight.

Rosie O'Donnell and Whoopie Goldberg got into a huge fight today on "The View." Unfortunately, no one was killed.


Fore more years!

The President, wearing a Titleist ball cap, says that he is sending US soldiers to Liberia to catch ebola. Meanwhile, he insists there is nothing we can do to secure our wide open borders as millions of criminals, diseased people and terrorists swarm into our country. President Obama says it is not a crisis, he can't stop it, and he hopes all these criminal illegals will remember to vote Democrat even though it is illegal for non-citizens to vote in US elections, and he hopes they will do so many, many times in every election.


Yay, I love awards for doing absolutely nothing!

Oprah Winfrey and Harry Belafonte are being honored by Harvard University because ... neither one of them went there. And if this makes sense to you, President Obama says that America is "leading from behind." Wow, that's genius. I mean, I assume it is because it seems to make no sense and clearly, based on the Peace Prize being awarded to Obama for absolutely no accomplishments and Harvard honoring 2 black people for being black and nothing more, this clearly must make perfect sense to ivy league billionaires in Massachusetts.


Help, I need somebody
Help, I can't get this album off my iPod

In music news, Apple has decided to forcibly give away U2's newest able by pushing it onto every Apple device in the world regardless of whether the owner of the device wants the album or not. Based on the reactions of the recipients, who have demanded that Apple give them a tool to uninstall the album, they do not.



Loves to shop, never pays

Argentina, a South American country that, like all South American countries, keeps crawling back to the vomit that is communism, has fallen from one of the richest and freest nations in South America to one that is totally and completely bankrupt, having spent every last penny of other people's money and then gone deeply into debt. Like all previous bankrupt communist nations, they are now refusing to pay their debts. Not to worry, though, because they have a female president, and in the minds of wealthy financial experts in and around New York City, this is all that really matters. The cash will continue to flow freely to Argentina until such a time as they should cease to have a female president or renounce communism.


CBS - we love sexual violence

In network television news, CBS is running a series of ads blaming men, and only men, for all sexual violence and abuse in the world. Simultaneously, CBS is also running a series of ads featuring female detectives sexually assaulting handcuffed men, which they are using to promote their new all-female police programs. Hypocrite much?


Nice hair

Obama has appointed a lesbian to head the US Secret Service. Almost immediately the gay and lesbian community, which lesbians refer to as the lesbian and gay community, praised his decision. Also almost immediately, several men were able to leap over the White House fence and get inside the White House before being stopped by the cleaning crew. No word yet on where the Secret Service was during the recent spate of White House break-ins, but rumor has it they were out playing golf with Hillary Clinton.



Shocking!

In the most shocking news of the week, on Sunday the Dallas Cowboys beat the stink out of the New Orleans Saints. Following this, the Kansas City Chiefs beat the stink out of the New England Patriots. And there was much rejoicing!


Saturday, September 27, 2014

It's Been Awhile

I have had 3 Dell laptops in a row. All 3 have died. Right now I'm on Raised-From-The-Dead Dell #2. It has a bad connection somewhere inside of it that causes the monitor to shut off at random. Sometimes the entire laptop shuts down at random. It's loads of fun. In order to raise it from death I had to replace the hard drive. I'm fed up with dead laptop hard drives so I bought a solid state drive for this one. Whatever kills this laptop next, it won't be a hard drive failure. It'll probably be the internal fan, knowing Dell's history of bad fans and fried computers that result. As I write this, I am fried redder than a tomato. I was outside in the sun burning cut down trees for several hours. Not only did the sun burn the crap out of me, but the fire was so hot that trying to get near enough to throw more branches in was burning me pretty badly. It wasn't that it was a big fire. It was just really, really hot, with lots of nice, dry wood from trees I cut using my latest toy, a big chainsaw. But that was months ago. Now the wood is dried and ready and burning it just about burned me with it. I started the fire around noon. It's now 8:30 and its still smoldering out there. And I'm in pain. With a house full of dead laptops, obviously I haven't been able to blog. I wish I could think of what I've been doing since my last blog post, anything interesting, but at the moment I can't think of much. I used to do things, or see or read things, and immediately think about going to the computer and blog about. I hate to admit it, but I don't think that way anymore. Anyway, I don't have much to say right now. I'm just here to say "Hello, I am back online" for however long this laptop lasts.
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