While I was over on YouTube listening to screaming goats I saw a zillion videos by Elizabeth Banks. I love Elizabeth Banks, so of course I stopped watching screaming goat videos to watch her. Apparently another Hunger Games movie comes out in a few days? I saw the first one. I guess I should see the rest. I haven't read the books so I don't know where they're going with this, but as long as Elizabeth Banks is in it I'll stick around.
Speaking of football, how the hell did Auburn University ever get ranked #4 in the nation? I've only seen them play the past 2 weeks, but in both games they were awful. I was shocked. Their defense can't tackle at all and their special teams are even worse. Their offense would be better if their quarterback would stop trying to run the ball so much and let the guys they recruited for that very purpose do it. No one in the NFL is recruiting quarterbacks for their ability to run so it isn't doing him any favors anyway.
|Don't you have someone to do this for you?|
I just farted and it was rough. I may have to go to the bathroom and check on the damage.
Ebay has made me crazy. I've been bidding like a lunatic on things I don't have any use for (imagine that!) and steadily raising my top bids in frustration at losing in the final seconds over and over. So eventually I'm going to end up paying $400 for something that is actually worth $200 just because I'm mad. Yeah, you wait and see. It's gonna happen.
|Losing on Ebay? Throw more money!|
I love how more and more cars built for American markets are made of cheaper and cheaper materials, and assume the owners are dumber and dumber. We can't have chromed steel bumpers or thick iron frames, but by God we have computers watching our blind spots and parking for us because, to be honest, half of us are too stupid and incompetent to do these things for ourselves. The more the cars do for us, the worse we get. Pretty soon it won't be an option to have the cars drive for you - it'll be mandatory simply because too many idiots will get their license without actually knowing how to drive their cars. Ah, but the biggest idiot drivers are experts at working a smartphone!
President Obama says he doesn't care who controls Congress because as president he can just order whatever he wants be done by executive order and it'll be a new law, er, regulation. For those of you who think our government is bound by things like the Constitution and Bill of Rights, Obama's regulations have the exact same effect as legally passed laws, except that they aren't. You'll be arrested and thrown in a federal prison like Guantanamo if they accuse you of breaking them, but there is no actual law passed by your lawmakers that you can read and try to obey. You won't ever know what all the federal regulations are because Obama creates hundreds of new ones each day and doesn't bother telling anyone. You find out about it when armed thugs are kicking in your door and shooting your entire family. This is called "hope and change," "forward," and "fundamentally changing America." By the way, the FBI is now using a fleet of millions of drones to fly overhead and intercept your cell phone signals before it reaches an actual cell tower so Obama's secret police can record all your conversations. Your phone won't tell you its happening because as far as it can tell it connected to a cell tower and is working fine.
|"I heard what you said about me."|
I used to work for a large Fortune 500 auto parts company. While I was there I purchased the only quality item they ever manufactured - a jacket. I've worn this jacket, with their logo on it, for the past 10 years. Every once in a blue moon someone will see the logo on the jacket and stop me to ask questions about parts they need and whether "we" carry it. Luckily the inventory of the business hasn't changed in a long time so I can still answer their questions fairly accurately, which turns out to be faster than explaining that I don't work there anymore and don't recommend to anyone that they shop there. Yesterday a woman working the register in Lenny's Sub Shop held me up for 10 minutes to ask me about a headlight for her son's scooter. The more we talked the more she eaked out little bits of information that were critical to helping her. Finally she said the scooter was made in China and was really cheap. So then, no, "we" wouldn't carry any parts for that and neither will any of our competitors. Remove the entire assembly and replace it with something better, preferably made of metal instead of plastic and even more preferably not made in China.
|"We steal American miritary technorogy and then we make this"|
So, the kitten has moved and is now sleeping between my outstretched legs. And I just farted on her. I'll bet she's REALLY warm now.