Friday, October 24, 2014

For the Common Good

I keep hearing it more and more often now, "for the common good." They say it on TV, on the radio, in books and magazines, everywhere that rich, powerful progressives own a controlling interest. It is usually the hero, or anti-hero, who says it. Sometimes it is the villain, but rarely so. Still, I keep hearing it.

All manner of evil is done "for the common good."

We disarmed an entire nation, everyone who wasn't in the army or the police, all the honest citizens. We disarmed them "for the common good." Then we began arresting people "for the common good." We arrested Jews and Catholics and blacks and gays and especially anyone who opposed us politically. No one could stop us. This is what we disarmed them for, so they could not stop "the common good." We tortured those we arrested. And then we killed them. We killed them, always, "for the common good."

We recruited the farmers to help us overthrow the proletariat.  We slaughtered them all, intellectuals, professors, business leaders and producers, all "for the common good."And then we slaughtered the farmers who helped us. We slaughtered them with bullets and starvation "for the common good." After that, we randomly grabbed men off the streets and took them to torture chambers, deep dark cells, and kangaroo courts where we found them guilty of crimes against the revolution. We did this, of course, "for the common good." We taught children to spy on their parents and parents to spy on their neighbors, encouraging everyone to turn against everyone, creating a culture of terror and death, of madness and monsters, where the poor were very, very poor and we were very, very rich, where the hungry stood in long lines simply to ask for a loaf of bread while we ate caviar and steak in our palaces. We enslaved the entire nation.
All of this we did "for the common good." It was for our good. We are the common good, we the great leaders, the politicians, the dictators, the executioners. We made ourselves the richest, most powerful men on earth at the expense of hundreds of millions, even billions, of other human beings, many of whom we slaughtered purely for pleasure, to satisfy our lust for blood. Forbes rarely includes us in their lists of the World's Richest or the Most Influential. They simply don't know exactly how much money we have so they don't know where on their lists we land. But they know who we are. And what we've done. Why don't you? Perhaps if you did you would never again allow others like us to rise up, disarm you, divide you, betray you, and do all those terrible things that we love so much to do "for the common good."

Saturday, October 18, 2014

October Mowing

So yes, it's been awhile since I last blogged. And yes, I've been very busy. And yes, I'm still pretty damned busy. The only reason I'm able to blog now is because Microsoft is uploading a stupid patch to my software and its taking all day and I can't leave the application open while it patches it, so I can't get any work done until it finishes. There, doesn't that make you feel special?

So anyway .... this is like my signature phrase, isn't it? "So anyway" - The Kept Woman said that to me once and I didn't know what to make of it, but ever since I've noticed that I say that a lot. Or rather, I write it a lot.

So anyway, today was supposed to be dedicated to studying and working all day long. But then my neighbor started mowing his stupid lawn. And I looked out my window and saw that my grass was still green and still growing. This inspired me to mow my own grass. It was looking pretty shaggy in the back, sort of like an '80s mullet, but with weeds. After mowing I stumbled across something in the shed while putting away the lawn mower that inspired me to go into the garage. Once inside the garage I stumbled across something, or rather I literally stumbled over several bottles of motor oil. And this reminded me that I have at least one vehicle in dire need of an oil change.

I began looking through my millions of quarts of various weights of oil to determine if I had enough quarts of the specific weight of oil that my vehicle requires. I found that I did. In fact, I have a lot more than I need. And then I thought about one of my other vehicles, the 4x4 truck that I never drive. I realized that it needs an oil change, too. But it needs a heavier weight oil and I wasn't sure if I had any at all. Turns out I did. I had just enough and no more. And I even had a filter. So off I went to change the oil in not one, but two of my fabulous vehicles at the same time.

See how neatly this is going?
Yes, it was nothing like this.
Things did not go well. Oh, I got the oil changed. But there is an ocean of used motor oil mixed with an entire gallon of antifreeze in my driveway. Almost all of it is the fault of that damn 4x4, too. I won't go into detail, but it got oil everywhere. And then a gallon jug of antifreeze dropped and cracked open in the driveway and started pouring out, mixing with the oil that was everywhere. When it was over I was throwing kitty litter and looking everywhere for the EPA Gestapo to come flying down my street in their armored vehicles and SWAT uniforms to shoot me and all my neighbors for "environmental crimes" or some shit.  They never showed and I got my driveway pretty well cleaned up. But by the time I got all my tools put away and everything cleaned up, including me, it was 7 pm.

So I sat myself down to study, which I was supposed to be doing all day long, and then the computer says, "you need to upload and install patch number 4. Please close the application while the patch installs." And so here I am, blogging instead of studying.

You're probably thinking, "Memphis Steve, how long does it take for a patch to download and install? Couldn't you have been studying by now instead of blogging?"

Well, I'll have you know that I just checked and the answer is "NO." The patch is STILL downloading and installing. Apparently it is a big mother fucker. And knowing Microsoft, after it is installed, my hard drive will crash and I'll get the infamous Blue Screen Of Death. That's what happened to my last laptop - I had just installed some Microsoft software and immediately afterwards the whole thing crashed so badly that my data couldn't even be recovered from the dead hard drive. That's Microsoft for you.

I guess while the patch continues to download I'll surf the net a little ...

Now I'll never get back to studying

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

World News and Updates

Hater of white people, capitalism and Christian America resigns

Eric Holder - professional bank robber, racist, and alleged homosexual - resigned his position as US Attorney General. Some are speculating that he did it to avoid prosecution for all the serious crimes he has either committed and/or helped to cover up. Others are speculating that he's taking advantage of his position and connections while he still can to get out on the open market and blackmail either a corporation or ivy league university into giving him a purely decorative position with fancy title and excessively high salary, much like everyone associated with the Clinton White House received. Personally I think he's planning to go to Syria where Barack Obama is going to arrange the murder of the current leader of Syria in order to place Eric in charge so he can finally play King Eric for realz.

No More

A 'true feminist' shot and killed her NFL quarterback boyfriend at the apartment they shared together. In response, the NFL has talked endlessly about domestic violence and the epidemic of psychotic predatory women who take advantage of lonely NFL players in order to rob them blind. They have contracted numerous celebrities and professional athletes to do advertisements in which they say "No more" and then go on to discuss the fact that they aren't willing to tolerate NFL players be abused anymore. This move was considered shocking mostly because the biggest abusers of NFL players have always been NFL owners, ie the NFL itself. But this time the NFL says they have had enough and are finally going to stand up and take care of their players for the first time ever. Also, in response to several former and current NFL players being diagnosed with testicular cancer, the NFL has designated October to be "testicular cancer month" and are instructing players, coaches, referees and cheerleaders to wear blue in order to help raise awareness of testicular cancer. Yep, this is totally happening. Not being sarcastic at all. No sarcasm here. Not even a smidgen. Mmm hmm.

I'm a crazy cunt. Let's fight.

Rosie O'Donnell and Whoopie Goldberg got into a huge fight today on "The View." Unfortunately, no one was killed.

Fore more years!

The President, wearing a Titleist ball cap, says that he is sending US soldiers to Liberia to catch ebola. Meanwhile, he insists there is nothing we can do to secure our wide open borders as millions of criminals, diseased people and terrorists swarm into our country. President Obama says it is not a crisis, he can't stop it, and he hopes all these criminal illegals will remember to vote Democrat even though it is illegal for non-citizens to vote in US elections, and he hopes they will do so many, many times in every election.

Yay, I love awards for doing absolutely nothing!

Oprah Winfrey and Harry Belafonte are being honored by Harvard University because ... neither one of them went there. And if this makes sense to you, President Obama says that America is "leading from behind." Wow, that's genius. I mean, I assume it is because it seems to make no sense and clearly, based on the Peace Prize being awarded to Obama for absolutely no accomplishments and Harvard honoring 2 black people for being black and nothing more, this clearly must make perfect sense to ivy league billionaires in Massachusetts.

Help, I need somebody
Help, I can't get this album off my iPod

In music news, Apple has decided to forcibly give away U2's newest able by pushing it onto every Apple device in the world regardless of whether the owner of the device wants the album or not. Based on the reactions of the recipients, who have demanded that Apple give them a tool to uninstall the album, they do not.

Loves to shop, never pays

Argentina, a South American country that, like all South American countries, keeps crawling back to the vomit that is communism, has fallen from one of the richest and freest nations in South America to one that is totally and completely bankrupt, having spent every last penny of other people's money and then gone deeply into debt. Like all previous bankrupt communist nations, they are now refusing to pay their debts. Not to worry, though, because they have a female president, and in the minds of wealthy financial experts in and around New York City, this is all that really matters. The cash will continue to flow freely to Argentina until such a time as they should cease to have a female president or renounce communism.

CBS - we love sexual violence

In network television news, CBS is running a series of ads blaming men, and only men, for all sexual violence and abuse in the world. Simultaneously, CBS is also running a series of ads featuring female detectives sexually assaulting handcuffed men, which they are using to promote their new all-female police programs. Hypocrite much?

Nice hair

Obama has appointed a lesbian to head the US Secret Service. Almost immediately the gay and lesbian community, which lesbians refer to as the lesbian and gay community, praised his decision. Also almost immediately, several men were able to leap over the White House fence and get inside the White House before being stopped by the cleaning crew. No word yet on where the Secret Service was during the recent spate of White House break-ins, but rumor has it they were out playing golf with Hillary Clinton.


In the most shocking news of the week, on Sunday the Dallas Cowboys beat the stink out of the New Orleans Saints. Following this, the Kansas City Chiefs beat the stink out of the New England Patriots. And there was much rejoicing!

Saturday, September 27, 2014

It's Been Awhile

I have had 3 Dell laptops in a row. All 3 have died. Right now I'm on Raised-From-The-Dead Dell #2. It has a bad connection somewhere inside of it that causes the monitor to shut off at random. Sometimes the entire laptop shuts down at random. It's loads of fun. In order to raise it from death I had to replace the hard drive. I'm fed up with dead laptop hard drives so I bought a solid state drive for this one. Whatever kills this laptop next, it won't be a hard drive failure. It'll probably be the internal fan, knowing Dell's history of bad fans and fried computers that result. As I write this, I am fried redder than a tomato. I was outside in the sun burning cut down trees for several hours. Not only did the sun burn the crap out of me, but the fire was so hot that trying to get near enough to throw more branches in was burning me pretty badly. It wasn't that it was a big fire. It was just really, really hot, with lots of nice, dry wood from trees I cut using my latest toy, a big chainsaw. But that was months ago. Now the wood is dried and ready and burning it just about burned me with it. I started the fire around noon. It's now 8:30 and its still smoldering out there. And I'm in pain. With a house full of dead laptops, obviously I haven't been able to blog. I wish I could think of what I've been doing since my last blog post, anything interesting, but at the moment I can't think of much. I used to do things, or see or read things, and immediately think about going to the computer and blog about. I hate to admit it, but I don't think that way anymore. Anyway, I don't have much to say right now. I'm just here to say "Hello, I am back online" for however long this laptop lasts.

Saturday, September 06, 2014

Nude Memphis DVD Reviews

I've been watching a lot of DVDs lately, mostly movies I had never seen before and some I hadn't even heard much about. Since I've invested all that time that I can never get back again, and just in case I've found a movie you missed and might like to see, I'm going to tell you about several of them.

Project X is a movie about a high school loser who wants to get laid. Ooh, never heard this idea before! No wait, this is the same plot for every high school movie that doesn't revolve around dance-offs. OK, so a kid with rich parents is having a birthday and his short, fat, Jewish friend from Brooklyn promises him that he can amp up the birthday party for him to epic levels. Since the kid's parents are going to be out of town during his birthday (which seems odd) they agree to have the biggest party possible at his house. The party gets out of control, there are lots of drugs and topless teenage girls and then a midget punches everyone in the groin and after that the police come and the whole neighborhood gets burned to the ground. Seriously. That's the movie. If you just want to see topless teenage girls then this movie is for you. If you want a laugh or two and maybe some entertainment beyond teenage titties, this movie sucks.

A couple, Joel and Clementine, played by Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet, has a break up and Clementine is so heartbroken that when she finds out that there is a procedure that erases memories for people, she signs up to have the entire relationship erased from her mind. Her ex-boyfriend, Joel, finds out about it and is so upset that he signs up to have the same procedure done. While his memories are being erased one-by-one, he realizes that he loves her still and doesn't want to lose those memories, so he fights the procedure. In his mind he takes Clementine by the hand and together they run from the memory erase. They run to all sorts of places and get into weird scenarios. The bottom line is, despite losing her, he realizes that the memories of what they had is too good to just throw away. Meanwhile, one of the techs who does the procedure, Patrick, played by Elijah Wood, has taken everything he learned about Clementine and why she fell for Joel in the first place, and he has tried to take Joel's place. When Joel shows up wanting the same memory erase procedure, Patrick has to try to help Joel while keeping Joel from finding out that Patrick has moved in on Clementine. The story is actually pretty good and everyone in it is top notch. It's a sad movie in a lot of places, but overall its good. I recommend it.

A beautiful girl, Alice, and a faithless man, Dan, played by Natalie Portman and Jude Law, begin a story about love and betrayal and what you have versus what you want and what you may lose. The story is complex. Even the relationship between Natalie Portman's character, Alice, and Jude Law's character, Dan, isn't clear at first, but when Clive Owen and Julia Roberts enter into the story and Dan begins trying to seduce Julia Robert's character, Anna, while Alice is right outside, you instantly realize that things are about to get blurry. What you don't realize is just how blurry it can be until the very end. It doesn't end the way you think it will. It's a good movie, but not terribly happy. I wouldn't take a date to see this unless you've been together awhile. It's a cynical film, but very good. I recommend it, just not for a date.

A poor Irish girl, named Mona, lives above the family pub with her brother, Phil. Both of their parents have died and the brother has just returned from prison where he became a Christian. With his new religious faith he tries to change completely, so he closes the pub, throws out all the alcohol, and uses it as a prayer house filled with religious people praying all the time. His sister is not a Christian and can't stand the changes, losing her parents and now feeling as if she's lost her brother, too, because she doesn't recognize this do-gooder where once her bad-ass brother stood. She leaves the pub and runs around the countryside trying to decide what to do, when she runs into a beautiful rich girl, Tamsin, played by Emily Blunt. Mona and Tamsin begin to hang out together and immediately Tamsin begins to pull Mona into a strange web. Tamsin, it turns out, is only home because she was suspended from her rich boarding school for causing endless trouble. Now home and bored, she decides to play her game with this lowly Irish girl and anyone else she meets. The result is chaos and destruction for the Irish girl. For the rich girl, Tamsin, it's all just a game and doesn't matter. The film is very unique. I've never seen one like it. And Emily Blunt, so very young when this was made in 2004, is fantastic. It's a cynical movie, but it's very good. I recommend it for when you are in the right mood. It will bring you down if you're not in the mood for it. But it will definitely throw you for a loop.

A bipolar man, Pat, played by Bradley Cooper, is home from a court-ordered incarceration in a mental institution. He is required as a condition of his release to take his meds. Of course he doesn't like his meds and doesn't like taking them. He has no place to go so he ends up back with his parents, who endure a lot of 3 am rantings from him while he's in his manic phase and not taking his meds. He's convinced that he's going to win back his ex-wife, who has had all she can take of his bipolar rollercoaster and has a restraining order against him. He is convinced that he's going to turn it all around, win her back and get his old job back and fix everything. Of course, everyone else can see that this is never going to happen. Meanwhile, he meets a crazy bipolar girl, Tiffany, played by Jennifer Lawrence. He pays no attention to Tiffany. He is fixated on winning back his wife. Meanwhile, Tiffany's husband has died and is never coming back, so she fixates on Pat. She promises to help him win back his wife, who he can't contact or talk to because of the restraining order, if he'll help her with a dance contest she wants to enter. He agrees. From there, the story begins to get brighter and brighter. Everyone in this film is extremely good. Robert DeNiro plays Bradley Cooper's father and he's massively OCD. This is a weird, but very entertaining movie. I recommend it.

Reese Witherspoon plays Isabella, a woman married to a Muslim man who is trying to fly home to the US from Europe when he is mistaken for a terrorist involved in the 9/11 attack. He is taken to a CIA 'black site' for interrogation. Meanwhile, Isabella is waiting for him at the airport. When his plane lands and he isn't on it she begins asking questions. The US Government tells her various lies about what must have happened to him, but never admits the truth, that they have him. Jake Gyllenhaal plays a CIA agent, named Douglas, who is involved in the interrogation. At first Douglas is convinced that they have the terrorist they were looking for, but gradually he starts to doubt. Meanwhile, Isabella has contacted a friend who works for one of her Senators. The friend tries to find out information by asking the CIA director, but the CIA director simply lies and then gets him into trouble with his boss so that he'll stop helping Isabella. Meanwhile, Isabella's husband Anwar is being viciously tortured despite the lack of any evidence that he is the terrorist they're looking for. This movie is based on the actual case of Khalid El-Masri, a German citizen who was grabbed and taken to Afghanistan where he was beaten, tortured and sexually abused for 5 months. The fact that it is based on an actual case is reason enough to watch it. The fact that Reese Witherspoon, Jake Gyllenhaal, Meryl Streep and Peter Sarsgaard are in it only helps. This movie may piss you off, but I recommend it.

Josh Kovacs is the building manager of a New York high rise where wealthy New Yorkers live. He and his entire staff serve the residents every need. Josh is also responsible for investing the staff's retirement funds. Living on the top floor penthouse is Arthur Shaw, a billionaire hedge fund manager. Josh and Arthur play chess together and have a seemingly close relationship, so Josh talks to Arthur about the staff's retirement and Arthur agrees to invest it. But Arthur is a con artist, a phony who takes investors' money and spends it. When the FBI closes in and arrests Arthur, Josh gets fired. The rest of the story is about Josh and his friends attempt to break into Arthur's penthouse to steal Arthur's hidden stash of money. The movie stars Ben Stiller, Eddie Murphy, Casey Affleck, and Matthew Broderick as the building staff. Tea Leoni plays the FBI agent who arrests Arthur Shaw. Alan Alda plays Arthur Shaw, unrepentant thief and asshole. This movie had a lot of hype when it came out, but then didn't do all that well. I thought it was OK. It had fewer laughs than you'd expect, but overall its pretty good.

Carl is depressed. His life is going nowhere and his woman long ago left him. He doesn't even accept phone calls from his friends. He just sits at home or goes to work. Finally one of his friends convinces him to come to a seminar about the power of "Yes." During the seminar Carl is convinced to agree to a covenant which requires him to say "Yes" to everything. That very night Carl, after saying "yes" to a homeless man's every request, finds himself out of gas and with a dead cell phone way out in the middle of nowhere. He has to walk all the way into town to get a gas can and some gas and he's grumbling about how stupid he was for saying "yes" to the guy when he meets Allison, a totally free-spirit who gives him a ride back to his car. From that point on Carl finds that saying "yes" completely turns his life around. Everything is going well. But it suddenly falls apart and Carl loses Allison. He has to find a way to win her back. This is a fun movie, plus a movie that you can watch with a date. I highly recommend it. As a bonus, it stars Zooey Deschanel. She's always fun.

Rose needs more money than she can make at her current crap job. Her married boyfriend recommends she get into crime scene cleanup. She needs help in order to do it, so she recruits her loser sister, Norah, to help her. Together they form Sunshine Cleaners. It's a quiet, independent film. There's no CGI explosions or shootouts or cars flying through the air. But its a good movie. Keep in mind, I LOVE Amy Adams and LOVE Emily Blunt, and both of them are in this movie, so that definitely influences my feelings about it. I recommend it.

Oh good Lord, how to summarize this film? I have read several other blogs that did excellent jobs of summarizing and explaining the entire story. But in order to do this, they have to tell you how the film ends. I refuse to do that. I watched this movie without the slightest idea of what it was about. I only knew that it starred Kirsten Dunst and was said to be a super cool film. Not knowing what it is about, I feel, helped me to enjoy it more. It made it harder for me to get through the first half, because I didn't really understand what was going on. But by the second half I was steadily more and more excited about the story. If you trust my opinions based on the other movies I reviewed above then you'll just have to trust me on this one - I highly recommend it. I was blown away by the story, which it turns out is not at all original, but nevertheless very cool. Clearly everyone in the film industry was aware of what a monumentally great film this would be, because the cast is packed with some very big names. Watch this film. Be patient and stick with it all the way through to the end. If you already know how it is going to end then there's not much point in watching it, unless you just want to see Kirsten Dunst nude, which I did and was very appreciative of. If you want to see another film somewhat similar to it, but made in France, and which also has high ratings from reviewers, watch Another Earth. I plan to.

And now, simply because I promised it, is Kirsten Dunst nude and looking up at the strange planet in the sky above her in the movie "Melancholia" ...

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